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”“Not cruel at all. I knew the way things would work out from the beginning. Narrowly missed carrying a child for a real son-of-a-bitch. The disposition of his children always relies on the flip of a coin. Heads, he takes them. Tails, he leaves them with the mother to raise. Tends to leave surrogate mothers fucked up, no matter the outcome.“It’s easier ... somewhat ... to know beforehand you’ll never hold them in your arms, and never see them again, in most cases. Or if you do, you probably won’t know that they’re yours.”“It sounds horrible...”“That’s life at Bella Notte ... that’s life as a surrogate womb, no matter where you are. And it’s pretty damn close, from what I hear, to what a lot of women who give up their babies for adoption experience.“It’s the life I was raised to live ... and I’m discovering just how blessed I am that I’ll never have to go through that again.”The two of them sat in silence watching the other people in the salon.Until Donna and Fei came over to them,. You know that.” “It’s been a month!” Laura exclaimed. “You haven’t fucked anyone in a month?” “No, I haven’t,” I answered softly. “I just – don’t feel like it. I guess I’m not the slut I used to be.” This made them laugh and their attention was deflected from me. It was true that I had once been just like my three friends – friends that I no longer truly wished to be with, if I would only be honest with myself. We were all favorites of the clubbing scene and guys loved to see us walk in. It always meant that at least four of them would be getting lucky that night. But six months previous, I had met someone and had thought myself to be in love with him. We had a lot of laughs and some great sex. It turned out that I wasn’t the only woman who shared that special relationship with him and it had ended badly. I had caught him with another woman and after I refused to join in, he told me to ‘piss off.’ In reflection, I realized that I hadn’t actually been in love with Roger. I had been in.
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